Wednesday, September 22, 2010

'our little table' at starbucks

  My Littlest Buddy     {photo taken last year} The other day I had a few errands to run so I decided to go to Target.  
I love to get a large ice water from 
because they triple filter it and you can tell... yum. 
  As I pulled into the parking lot I had a wave of emotion wash over me.  The kind that takes your breath away like an infant facing the wind, "gasp, gasp, gasp".  It hit me.  
My little errand buddy wasn't with me to run daytime errands
  That door over there, the one closest to Starbucks inside, that was the door he always wanted to go in
when I'd let him choose.  And we would stop and get his favorite vanilla organic milk
and sit at
"our little round table"
by the circle window and we would talk about cars and colors 
and numbers and what he wants to do when he grows up...  Then he grew.
And changed.
And grew some more. 
I didn't cry when he went to kindergarten 
but I teared up that day at Target
Then everywhere I went there were babies and toddlers and pregnant mommies. 
Children asking for gumballs, new toys, and "I gotta go potty".  There were even two adorable siblings in one of those "strap'em in and push this huge truck" work-out for mom type carts arguing about something like "she's on my side, MOVE OVER!" 
( I just had to tell their mom that they WERE adorable
but, I don't think she was seeing that 
through their behavior at the moment)
  Then I thought, "I don't miss some things about always having little ones with me". 

I felt like I was on some sort of a Willie Wonka  and the Chocolate Factory crazy ride through the evolutionary phases of a mother's life! 
It was unexpected and hard and encouraging and painful and encouraging all at once... 
kind of like BEING a mom sometimes. 
   I have never hurried through Target so fast. 
I usually take a little time to browse and drink my triple filtered water, but I just wanted off this 'ride' fast. 
I went through the check-out lane and went for the doors! 
  The tears began to fill my eyes. 
"Quick! Put on your sunglasses" I thought. 
"But it's not sunny out" I responded to myself. 
I put on my sunglasses and walked toward my car.  
Then right in front of me walked a grandma and her grandchild...
  A glimpse of the future to be?  
Transitions, phases, seasons, whatever you want to call them can be so bittersweet... something to grieve and let go of, something new to embrace, and for me a reminder to BE where ever I am.  
Thanks for listening.  
I need to go do some more laundry now.  
Enjoy those around you when you can as much as you can. 
I will work on that one, too.  :)


  1. Awwww..that made me have tears in my eyes. I know exactly what you mean. It's the little things that bring you back to reality sometimes. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one with those moments that makes my hubby roll his eyes if I tell him :)

  2. ~*Such a beautiful heartfelt post..thanks for sharing~* Hugs, Rachel

  3. Your little one is a cutie. I know what you mean... I miss mine a lot... they are both away at college. I have so many wonderful memories of when they were little and all the phases/ seasons/ stages/ transitions we went through.

  4. Wow! I can't believe your baby is no longer a toddler!!! Such a sweet post. I understand. During my "in between years", the Lord provided other families of little children for me to love and spend time with, then we became grandparents and it is truly "GRAND"!


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