Friday, January 20, 2012

finding the fine line...

I've been thinking lately about the whole world of virtual communication.
I enjoy facebook, blogger, etsy, instagram, and the convenience of email.
I, like everyone else, can get lost in the computer screen for hours on sites like
 flickr and now pinterest.

 I think it's wonderful that there are so many different platforms for creativity
and opportunities for individuals to work from home.
It's crazy how fast a new online site can pop up. 
 I know this may make me sound
out of date or old but, it's hard to keep it all straight!
It can become additictive.

And worse yet, it can promote a loss of a connection with reality.
I have checked my facebook more than I need to.
I have blogged when it may have been better to meet a friend for coffee.
I have put alot of work into my etsy and wondered if it was time well spent.
And now pinterest.
I can find everything there!
Recipes, decor ideas, hairstyle tutorials, exercise plans, even a gazillion + more makeover ideas
for my face, my home, my yard, my garden, my life.

I read a woman's to do list for 2012.
It had dozens of BiG projects listed.
I couldn't help but wonder how all this doing would affect her marriage
and her relationships with her children.

I thought I was having a bad day the other day.
My husband was sick and out of state all week on a business trip.
Our 6 children all had the flu.
I had the flu.
The laundry mountain was HuGE
and my energy had flatlined.

After a few days of doing nothing I got out my computer.
I read several blogs of people that I follow
and I came across a difficult post of a woman who recently
 lost her home, her marriage, and many other, what once were, blessings.
This is one of my very favorite on line people.

It jarred me.
I was so stunned that this woman had been going through all these tragic events
and I was completely clueless.
It reminded me that in the virtual world
what's being presented doesn't always line up with reality.

It is a difficult fine line.
If I am real, there are those who read that as whining.
And I have a conviction that if I'm not real, I am promoting a virtual fairytale image
that benefits no one.

I am not quite sure where that balance is.
In the blogosphere of interior design and inspiration
spilled milk and a ripped open garbage bags caused by family dog
aren't axactly inspiring or material for readers who want to sit at their computer
with a cup of coffee and wander into blogging bliss.

I love order, peace, elegance, beauty, simplicity and lovliness
but frankly, my world just isn't so.
No one's is.
I can fall into "Should my_____ be like that?" ditch.
Or maybe it's more like a swamp.

I get concerned about the influences that these images of virtual perfection
can bring into our own homes, our own relationships with spouse and children,
our standards and expectations.

Houses get dirty and need upkeep.
Marriage takes hard, selfless, devotion and humble committment.
Children need both of their parent's love, attention and affection.
The inspiration that I've needed to continue 'make overs' on these most important
priorities has not come from time on blogger, facebook or pinterest
but from being quiet before God.
No electronics needed.
No cell phone needed.

If you find that fine line between being real on your blog
without sounding like you're whining
let me know.
I want to continually stay there and write from that place.

I'd love to hear your thougts on how you stay real in a virtual world.

xo deborah

{images: pinterest}


  1. Hi Deborah- Boy! You have written a post full here. You have so nailed the "reality" of blogland. I know of several women who are spending a fortune to keep up with the virtual "Joneses". I think that is sad.

    Although my background is in staging and decorating, I am not blogging about that because I am much more than a piece of fabric that I have made into a curtain/pillow/matching underwear kinda gal. (yes..yes..I do have a sarcastic sense of humor). My blog has become one that follows my day-to-day life with my kids/grandkids. So that someday they can remember that THIS NANA saw the humor in almost everything. That I am REAL...that THEY can be real, too.

    In the beginning if I was videotaping one of the kids I would make sure that there wasn't one single thing out of place. Who wants to see a toy on the floor or a sippy cup turned sideways? But, guess what? THAT is the real world. I don't straighten up anymore- I just tape away so that I don't miss the moment.

    If you are referring to Sandy in your post my heart is breaking for her, too. I did a whole post about her yesterday.

    Thank you for this wonderful message today. I hope lots of people GET IT! xo Diana

  2. I can't believe how you put into words just what I had been feeling/sensing of late. I myself don't have a blog, however I follow several and yours is one I enjoy most, though you have beautiful images, you display what to my mind is so much more important, a beautiful soul.

  3. I agree with you, Deborah. There truly IS a danger in spending a lot of time involved with ANY virtual reality. Even BEFORE computers, people could escape into the world of books, music, etc. Like most everything in life, we must pray for balance and seek to be good stewards of our time.

    That's one of the reasons I keep the image of a scale right in the center of my blog banner. Every time I go to my blog, I'm reminded that I MUST keep and, pray for, the realm of my virtual reality, as well as the physical one.

    And you are definitely NOT out of date! Computers can be a blessing OR a curse. We must make wise choices. ;)

    Liz @ The Brambleberry Cottage

  4. This was so well written and you are so right! Yes, it is easy to get sucked in to our virtual worlds! I loved this.
    Great post.
    Have a pretty day!

  5. Hey Deborah.
    The line goes from virtual reality to real reality is very thin. You have to get the laptop just a few days a week and some hours that do not occupy your time.
    But it's nice the virtual tour that offers internet.
    A greetings from Catalonia, Spain.

  6. Thank you for the reality check! Insight is an amazing thing. Take Care, Cheers SpecialK XoXo

  7. Hi Deborah, just stopping by to say how delightful your blog is. Thanks so much for sharing. I have recently found your blog and am now following you, and will visit often. Please stop by my blog and perhaps you would like to follow me also. Have a wonderful day. Hugs, Chris

  8. Love this post....I have pondered so many times, if I should continue to blog, or continue to take part in Etsy. I do not want to take any time away from my family and I feel that some of the blogs I read "do not keep it real". Which in turn has me thinking to myself "Am I the only one who has legit obstacles in life, that admit it" Anyhow, I love your blog and have always adored your posts....I wish you a lovely weekend dear! Xo ~Ashley


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